And THIS is why I have so long avoided the online dating world LOL

Progressive Culture | Scholars & Rogues

by Lisa Barnard

I’m turning 30 in a few months, and I recently realized I’m now at the age I made a lot of promises about in the past. One of those promises was that if I was still single at 30, I’d try online dating. I’ve had an onslaught of terrible dating experiences in the last year (including someone who turned out to be a drug dealer, someone who was mad I didn’t want to come hang out at his bedbug-infested apartment, and a commitment-phobe friend who constantly appears to be doing an uncanny Jekyll and Hyde impression).

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.watching our lives blow up.

“And I just want to get mugged at knifepoint
to get cut enough to wake me up
cause I know that I don’t want to die
sitting around watching my life go by
and what we take from this is what we’ll get and we haven’t quite figured it out just yet
because all of us are all too stuck
strapped to a chair watching our lives blow up
stuck watching our lives blow up”

This Week The Trend – Relient K

It’s so easy to do. Just sit there and let life pass by. I am a prime example. Sure, I’m doing the college thing, trying to get a degree and move forward… But in the mean time, I just feel like I keep going through the same old routine day after day. I feel like there’s something I’m missing. I need something new. Something exciting. Something to look forward to.  But what?

loving myself

I, like so many people, have such a hard time loving myself. If God loves me, I should surely be able to do so. But I think of all of my flaws. I’m perpetually late. I’m a procrastinator. I am extremely passive. And when I think of these flaws I see how it may be hard for others to love me, let alone myself.

Now before you roll your eyes, call me “emo” and skip to another journal, allow me to finish.

I am learning about myself. I am learning that these flaws are part of me. Granted, they are things I can and should work on.

I’m perpetually late, because I hate to leave what makes me happy. And I’m Irish. :p I hear that is a common thing among us.

I procrastinate because I work better under pressure.

I’m passive because I care about others and want everyone to be happy.

I am learning to cope with myself. I am learning that I am a desirable person. I am learning that I do deserve better.

And in the process I am learning that these things I don’t like about myself are things that can be changed. And perhaps if I change them I will be a better person. And I will become more comfortable with the idea of loving myself.

If my family and friends can see past all of my flaws, I can too.

(s)lacking

Hello there friends and family who care to read my inner thoughts. It’s one of those rainy days where I want to do nothing. The rain makes me feel adventurous and lazy at the same time. The smell of it takes me back to Ireland. I wish I were in a different country exploring someplace new. Sometimes I get so tired of being in the same place for so long. I feel like the world is just too big to stay so stationary.

The semester is finally over. Everyone is packing up and moving back home for the summer. Seniors are preparing for commencement this weekend. This is sort of a rough time for me. I should be joining those excited seniors. (Technically, I should have joined them 3 years ago.) Hopefully, I will only have one more semester to go and I will be done forever. I’m too old for this. I really don’t know how much longer I can deal with it.

I’ve been finding it hard to put my faith in God lately. I have had a rough month. From school issues, to boys, to roommates, to car troubles… yadda yadda. I complain too much. But I’ve been realizing lately that in all of this mess, I’ve left God out. I have barely remembered to ask for his help; for his love and support. Just knowing that He is there is a comfort to me, that I have, I admit, neglected to acknowledge recently. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems. So determined to make life go the way I want it to. It’s time to give it to God. His plan for my life has got to be so much better than mine.

So here’s hoping I will do just that.

Jeremiah 29:11 — For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Guten Tag, Welt!

It’s a new day, it’s a new blog. Enjoy.